A Letter to My Nose

PROMPT: Close your eyes. Which body part jumps to your consciousness? Write that body part a letter.

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Dear Nose,

We need to talk. Sometimes I feel like I care more about the relationship than you do, and your current behavior is driving me insane.

Despite my recent frustration, I want to point out the distinct effort I've made to pay attention to you over the years. I notice that fragrances make you twitch so I keep you from them. I coat you with unscented lotion in the morning and at night before bed, and I avoid close range perfume spritzes. I only choose candle flavors you like, filling my condo with vanilla and cinnamon because they are your favorite. And even though I love flowers, and find myself yearning to inhale their beauty, I know they bother you. For that reason, I can't remember the last time I bent down and actually smelled roses.

I know cold weather incites bouts of insanity, but I implore you to consider all of the things I have tried to do to appease you before you decide to continue with your current acts of vengeance. I don't punish your whiny outbursts with cheap, rugged tissue; I invest in you by emptying your baggage with aloe coated Kleenex. Though tempted, I never went through with piercing you. I saw so many enticing studs and imagined, on many occasions, how cute you might look with one imbedded into your cartilage. Nevertheless, I always refrained from prodding and poking you because I respected your right to peace. And even when I'm late, I always make time to netti pot you, to clean you out and to free you from gook that could build up and infect you.

Over the years, I've endured allergy shots on account of your temper-tantrums complete with twitching and dripping and pouting. I've spent ridiculous amounts of money on antihistamine and decongestant to try to calm you down, and I pour gallons of hot tea down my throat hoping the warmth might creep up into you and inspire you to relax your hold on my life.

I know I've never addressed any of this with you, so I'm hopeful this letter might encourage you to reconsider your behavior. I would really love to wake up tomorrow morning free from the chains of your control. I would love to wake up tomorrow morning as your partner, feeling fulfilled by your decision to befriend me, to work with me, and to negotiate with me. Hopefully you will feel this way too.

Thank you for your time,

Me.